I have been seizure free for six years. This was a critical step forward in my journey, and it presented me with the next important transition in my life with epilepsy.I needed to decide how I wanted to live. Was I going to live live with fear and or live with courage? Was I going to tolerate the fear of never following my dreams? Could I live with my fear that my life would be crushed by my condition? Or, would I find the courage to persevere? Would I find the courage to push forward?
I chose to live with courage.
I refer to this choice as “my acceptance.” For me, it’s about finding a way to cope and live with the condition - for what it is - while living my life as fully as possible.
Acceptance and life experience led to four big shifts in my outlook, and my life:
BEFORE, I thought: People would not accept me because of my epilepsy; I worried they would doubt my abilities because of my condition. NOW, I can see that people recognize how capable I am - based on my performance, rather than my epilepsy.
BEFORE: I could not tolerate epilepsy.NOW, I am comfortable with my epilepsy, and I can talk about it openly.
BEFORE, I thought: I could never drive or socialize freely.NOW, I have my license and drive myself to and from social events with friends.
BEFORE, I thought: I was at the mercy of my disorder, loaded with anxiety and fear. NOW, I am on the right medication and have educated myself about my condition. My choices make me a healthy and functioning person.
I’ve come a long way…
As a girl, I didn’t understand the word.
As a young adult, I couldn't handle hearing the word.
Now, as a woman, I can talk about my condition and say: epilepsy is a part of me.