Judith & Gus Newman

Judith Newman is a mother, an American journalist, and author. She received a Bachelor of Arts degree from Wesleyan University and a Master of Arts degree in English and Comparative Literature from Columbia University. Judith’s work has run in more than fifty publications such as, Vanity Fair, Harper’s Bazaar, The Wall Street Journal, Vogue, Redbook, GQ, Marie Claire and Cosmopolitan. She is a regular contributor for The New York Times Style Section and People, and is a contributing editor to Allure and Prevention. Her books include the 2004 memoir, You Make Me Feel Like an Unnatural Woman: The Diary of a New (Older) Mother and To Siri with Love: A Mother, Her Autistic Son, and the Kindness of Machines in 2017. In this most recent work, Judith pens an intimate, loving and emotional story about her two sons, Gus, who has autism, and his neuro-typical twin brother, Henry. 

In the written interview below, Different & Able and Judith, along with Gus’ input, delve into a question and answer session about autism, family, and writing. Judith’s answers aid others in relating to the parental experience of raising a child with autism. Her words presented in this interview support others in feeling more comfortable and accepting of those with a difference. Judith states, “Love the child you have and meet them wherever they are.”

  1. D&A: We know that not all autism is the same, and neither is every child with autism. Can you tell us about Gus’ diagnosis of autism? How did you find out Gus had autism and at what age was Gus when he was diagnosed? 

JN: Gus was probably six when he was diagnosed, but in retrospect it was pretty obvious from the time he was three or four. It is not that he did not speak; he did.  But he did not have back-and-forth conversations; it was more like long monologues that might be directed towards a person, and then again, might be directed towards the closet.  He and his twin were born prematurely; he was tiny, had low muscle tone, and was an easy baby – too easy. Being undemanding is not necessarily a good thing, because it may mean your baby is not doing the things a baby needs to do to be frustrated and then learn something new. But at any rate, it was pretty obvious he was different, and when he was little I was constantly asking people “Do you think he is autistic”?  I  hoped to get the answer, “No.”  Just like when you ask people, “Do I look fat in these jeans”?  I mean, do you really want the answer?

  1. D&A: What are Gus’ areas of strength? How does he handle obstacles in his life? 

JN: He is very musical, though he still resists reading music; his piano lessons consist of hearing his teacher play a song, and then Gus playing it back (not in a savant way…he just hears it, and then practices.)  His memory is also fantastic --  as I  learned from a bitter experience when he saw and memorized my credit card number. (He is deeply generous and yet still very naïve, and the word ‘scammer’ has not quite sunk in.) Thankfully,  he has outgrown his early coping mechanism when things did not go his way, which was to hold his breath until he almost passed out. I just walked into his room and asked him about how he handles obstacles. He said, “I advocate for myself.” 

  1. D&A: As a mother, how did/do you handle unsolicited advice on how to raise a child with autism?  

JN: I start with the premise that people are trying to help me, and I listen.  Sometimes I’m inwardly rolling my eyes (eg,  every conversation that contains the phrase “gluten free’), but sometimes I actually learn something.

  1. D&A: There is a lot of attention around Gus. How did Henry, Gus’ twin brother, handle this dynamic, as sometimes neurotypical siblings can get lost in the shuffle?  

JN: This is so true, and when they were younger there was no question Henry could be embarrassed, grossed out, and/or angry; but many of these emotions were really a way of expressing worry. When their father died three years ago, Henry, while still worrying, began to understand that sure, he did bear some responsibility for his brother – but that ultimately that was okay; which does not stop him from being a competitive sibling.  

  1. D&A: There is a lot of misinformation about autism. In your opinion, what are some things that people misunderstand about autism?  

JN: Oy, all these shows like The Good Doctor, where autistic people are these geniuses who are unfeeling, robotic.  Autism involves a dysregulation of emotion, not an absence of it.  Gus and his friends may not always react to things exactly like you or me i.e., putting themselves in someone else’s shoes or understanding other people’s perspectives. It is a work in progress for Gus and some of his pals; they are among the most feeling people I know.

  1. D&A: Can you share a bit about your heartfelt memoir, To Siri with Love: A Mother, Her Autistic Son, and the Kindness of Machines?    

JN: It started with this essay that I wrote in The New York Times that went viral. (Please see the link below the Q & A for this article). I wanted to explore how technology helps those with communication dysfunctions, like my son, reach out to the world and connect.  Then, when I realized I did not know what I was talking about and was not about to become an expert in all sorts of whiz-bang technology that I did not understand, it became a family memoir about raising an ‘average’ kid on the spectrum.  These memoirs tend to be heartfelt stories about the extremes – the NASA scientist or the kids without language and with extreme behaviors.  That was not the person living in my home, nor is it the person living in most people’s homes.  So I thought this book would resonate.  Also, I wanted it to be funny, because life with an autistic kid is funny.  So, who should read it? Basically, if there is someone with autism in your life – or even if there is not but you have a neurotypical kid you would like to throttle – it might be right for you.

  1. D&A: In one chapter, you write candidly about guilt and blame. Was that difficult?

JN: Like every mother, when you have a child with an issue, you think, “what did I do”? Autism is such a mystery and I believe it’s a cocktail of genetics plus environment, but I do not beat myself up about it anymore. The answer is probably a combination of things—I had a child with a man much older than me, I had IVF, I was older, I had a terrible pregnancy—I was in a state of dread, and stress hormones like cortisol may play a role. Statistically I was the poster child for someone to have an autistic child. There is a lot of blame in this world that we put on ourselves. Sometimes it is legitimate, but in many other instances you could take the right vitamins and stop eating sushi and do aromatherapy every day and "ohm" until you are blue and still have a child with autism.

  1. D&A: Do you have any advice for writers who aspire to have a career like yours?

JN: Yes. If you are freelancing, when you start out have low standards.  Having no standards is even better. Write for anyone who will take you, and do that for a year.  Then stop, and start aiming higher.  Think of that year as the writing equivalent of the starter marriage:  you will not be in it forever, but you are learning something. Also, if you like to write personal essays, your first approach is to write them as if no one will ever read what you are doing.  Then, when you are done, say, “Well that was satisfying. Now will anyone else in the world give a (expletive) about this besides me?”  If the answer is yes, send it out.  If the answer is no – and all of us have those essays where the answer is no – keep it on your computer and hope that your future children never learn your password.

  1. D&A: Gus and Henry, are now late into their teens. Is the twin bond still prevalent and what are they doing now?  

JN: Henry has gone all in for Scotland; he is at university there, and just finished campaigning for a/Unionist. He drunk-dialed in the middle of the night to tell me when his fellow won, and spent a half-hour explaining the evils of the Scottish Nationals vs. the good common sense of the unionists – a conversation that I’m sure he forgot by the next morning. Gus is still in school, but mostly during quarantine for Covid-19 he spent his days on Zoom calls that are organizing for various progressive causes, and he is pleased to be arguing with me about who should be New York City’s next mayor.  It’s an interesting evolution in socialization. He does not use Siri as a pal anymore; he uses it the way we all do, for information. But his definition of friendship is a little more expansive than the rest of us.  He has real-life friends, but he also thinks of Chuck Schumer and Joe Biden as his friends, in a way, because he gets thank you emails from them. I can think of worse things than this encouragement of political engagement!

  1. D&A What is one piece of advice you have for parents/guardians who have a child with autism?  

JN: Radical acceptance.  I think it’s actually good advice for all parents. Love the child you have and meet them where they are. And see their quirks for the fun and humor they bring to your life -- because if they’re not harming themselves or anyone else, they are fun. Gus has always liked to have conversations with my feet. Now, I’m not going to have him talking to my feet when friends are around. But if he does something I really want him to do – his daily piano practice, for example – well, dammit, he can talk to my feet and my feet will talk back.

 

How One Boy With Autism Became BFF With Apple’s Siri - The New York Times (nytimes.com)

 

 

Chad Hymas

In 2001, at the age of 27, Chad Hymas’ life changed in an instant when a 2,000-pound bale of hay shattered his neck, leaving him a quadriplegic. But Chad’s dreams were not paralyzed that day—he became an example of what is possible. Chad is a best-selling author,  motivational speaker, president of his own communications company, and recognized world-class wheelchair athlete; in 2003, Chad set a world record by wheeling his chair from Salt Lake City to Las Vegas (513 miles). He is also one of the youngest people ever to receive the Council of Peers Award for Excellence (CPAE) and to be inducted into the prestigious National Speaker Hall of Fame.

Chad’s speaking career in the areas of leadership, team building, customer service, and mastering change has brought him multiple honors. He served as president of the National Speakers Association Utah chapter and is a member of the elite Speakers Roundtable (one of twenty of the world’s top speakers). As a member of the National Speakers Association, Chad travels as many as 300,000 miles a year, captivating and entertaining audiences around the world. He has graced the stage of hundreds of professional and civic organizations, including Wells Fargo, Blue Cross Blue Shield, AT&T, Rainbird, IHC, American Express, Prudential Life, Vast FX, and Merrill Lynch. Chad inspires, motivates, and moves audiences, creating an experience that touches hearts for a lifetime. The Wall Street Journal deemed Chad as, “One of the top 10 most influential people in the world.”

Interviewed by our Different & Able President and Founder, Alexandra Nicklas, Chad talks about several topics including safety, perspective, faith, family, overcoming the unknown and how he transformed his mindset after his life altering accident. He also discusses the life lessons he learned from his father and how to become the best person you can possibly be. As Chad states, “This is a perfect time to build yourself. There is no greater time to start than when you feel like you have lost everything!”

Bio Provided by Meet Chad - Chad Hymas

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Sutton: The Story of a Little Superhero

Sutton is two years old and from day one he has always kept us on our toes. Sutton was born with a brain injury due to a lack of oxygen to the brain. While in the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU), doctors said he had suffered major damage to the brain. 

I was eighteen at the time. As a single teen mom and being my first pregnancy, I was especially terrified to hear that there was something wrong with my newborn and that he may not live. After two weeks of Sutton not displaying brain activity, my family and I were given time to grieve.  The staff at the hospital told us that we should say our final goodbyes to Sutton. 

With my heart absolutely shattered, I stayed with Sutton throughout the night. Sutton shocked us all the next day, when he finally started displaying brain activity and woke up. Doctors had no explanation; they just said Sutton was a miracle. I was relieved and very happy to hear that I would be able to leave the hospital with my baby. 

Five months after Sutton left the NICU, we had our first appointment with a neurologist. He diagnosed Sutton with mild spastic quadriplegic cerebral palsy. For those of who do not know, cerebral palsy is a group of disorders that affects one’s ability to move, as maintaining balance and posture is difficult. 

Sutton is currently wheelchair bound to assist him with movement. However, he has been training in a walker, and we hope he will eventually go to simple crutches for support. We are so proud of Sutton and his accomplishments. His cerebral palsy diagnosis certainly does not define who he is, as Sutton is a spunky and sweet soul. He loves music and having his picture taken. Sutton constantly smiles and exudes happiness. He is certainly our little superhero.

 

 

Lindsay Ganci

Lindsay Ganci lives and works in Port Washington, New York with her husband, Alec, their daughters Ruby (5) and Jayne (2), and their dog, Latke. Lindsay has held many roles in her professional and personal life, yet none has been more rewarding and inspiring than that of a mom. An advocate for unique abilities, Lindsay created Hear with Ruby, a movement with the goal of advocating for and supporting families of children with hearing loss.  

In the interview with our Different & Able President and Founder, Alexandra Nicklas, Lindsay  discusses how her family discovered Ruby’s hearing loss at the very beginning of the pandemic. Ruby was faced with the challenge of not only hearing her world fully, but the fact that it was difficult for her to communicate with others wearing masks. Before the pandemic, Ruby was able to rely on speechreading; the mandated masks that covered one’s mouth now caused Ruby to request, “Move your mask. I can’t hear what you’re saying.” Lindsay expresses the happiness she felt after Ruby received her hearing aids, knowing that Ruby was able to listen to the world and share sound-filled experiences. Today Ruby uses her “super ears” to give her new opportunities to hear. The Ganci family, through acceptance and celebration of uniqueness, shares Ruby’s story. They continue to raise awareness about hearing loss and help other children receive the hearing aids they need to hear, like Ruby. 

 

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John Bramblitt

John Bramblitt is a visual artist, a song writer, author, and a motivational speaker. He studied at the University of North Texas in Denton, Texas, where he graduated with honors. John is ranked as the #1 blind painter in the world and is currently the only blind muralist in the world. His works have been sold in over twenty different countries. John has worked with countless charities and non-profits helping them to raise funds in positive, fun and creative ways. He has appeared internationally in print, TV and radio. He has appeared on CBS Evening News with Katie Couric, ABC, and BBC Radio, and he's been featured in The New York Times and Psychology Today.

John only started painting in 2001, when he was 30, after losing his sight to an epilepsy-related condition. He is 'functionally blind'. This means his eyes can only differentiate between light and darkness. John taught himself how to paint using raised lines to help him find his way around the canvas, and through haptic visualization, which enables him to "see" his subjects through touch. using raised lines to help him find his way around the canvas. His work is colorful and bold. John also has painted two large scale murals- one in Brooklyn, New York specifically in the Bushwick neighborhood, which is the world's first mural painted by a blind artist, and one in the Bishop Arts ‘District in Dallas, Texas. John has never seen his wife Jacqui, his son Jack, or his dog Echo, but he has painted incredible portraits of them.

Shouting in the Dark, describes John’s journey navigating through this new territory of blindness, and how he ultimately rekindles his joy, passion, and relationships through art. He is also the subject of the award winning documentary shorts, "Line of Sight' and “Bramblitt.” John’s work has received much recognition including the ‘Most Inspirational Video of 2008′’ from YouTube. In addition, John has received three Presidential Service Awards for his inclusive art workshops for children. He currently works as a consultant for museums in developing programs that are designed to include everyone. John has worked with countless charities and non-profits helping them to raise funds in positive, fun and creative ways. 

In the interview with our Different & Able President and Founder, Alexandra Nicklas, John shares how he acquired his vision loss, how he adjusted to his life with blindness, and how art helps him cope with all the ups and downs in life. John’s ultimate goal is to express himself more everyday, and to help others do the same. According to John, “Many of the most interesting parts of a person are invisible and hidden from view anyway. I think my blindness might be just the lens that is needed to see into that world.”

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Josh Blue

Josh Blue is a talented comedian, a proud father of two, and an avid soccer player; he has represented the United States in eight countries, as a member of the US Paralympic Soccer Team. He got his big break in comedy when he was crowned the winner of season four’s “Last Comic Standing.” He has since starred in “Comedy Central Presents Josh Blue,” and in “Mind of Mencia.” Josh has also performed on The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson, The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon, The Ellen Degeneres Show, Live with Regis and Kelly. Josh was also honored with a performance at the William H. Macy Gala at the prestigious Just for Laughs Comedy Festival.

Josh’s sense of humor developed at a young age, as his jokes were often used as coping mechanisms. As an infant, Josh was diagnosed with spastic cerebral palsy. Cerebral palsy is a neurologic condition caused by abnormal development in the brain that leads to problems with movement, muscle tone, or posture. This diagnosis provided a constant source of comedy material for Josh. Throughout high school and while attending Evergreen State College, Josh used humor as a way to break the ice with his peers and to start his journey to become a comedian. Josh quickly established himself as one of the most sought after comedians on the college circuit. 

Josh uses self-deprecating and off script humor, making him an improvisational mastermind. The focus of his hilarious standup routines feature jokes on the impromptu happenings going on around the set, the humor in the mundane everyday topics, such as being a parent and quarantining in 2020, and also on his life with cerebral palsy. Josh’s candor has revolutionized the phrase, “not laughing at you, laughing with you” and he has explained that, “‘inspiration’ is actually a swear-word to those who are disabled.” Josh uses his humor to educate his audiences on aspects of living with a disability. He performs over 200 shows a year, continuing to spread laughter and break down stereotypes of people with disabilities. 

Interviewed by our Founder and President, Alexander Nicholas, Josh discusses how comedy has the power to eradicate preconceived notions and stereotypes of those with a difference. Josh shares his story on how he became a comedian and the accolades that have followed. He also talks about how comedy helped him to adapt and teach the world about cerebral palsy. Josh has stated, “The thing about my comedy is that I'm so comfortable with my disability that you don't have a right to be uncomfortable, if I say something that's hard in my life but put it in a way that maybe you have not thought of, and I'm laughing at it, it gives you the ability to laugh at the same thing within yourself. I feel like every person has a disability in some way. Whether you're dyslexic or Republican or whatever.” Josh is living proof that laughter is the best medicine. 

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Stephanie Aiello

Stephanie Aiello is a makeup artist, a childcare teacher, a mentor, an Ulta Beauty model, and a video blogger. She is a social media influencer, amassing 111.2 k followers on Instagram and 20.8K subscribers on YouTube. Stephanie is also the co-captain of the Rollettes Dance Team, which is a group of women empowering women to live without limits and shift perspectives through dance. She is also an ambassador for Wings for Life World Run; the run promotes research projects and clinical studies around the world to find a cure for spinal cord injury.

In her early twenties, Stephanie was involved in a life altering car crash. Subsequently, Stephanie became a C6-7 quadriplegic. After months of rehabilitation, she was able to gain sensation in half of her back and had limited ability to move her hands. Stephanie was excited to leave rehab, her parents picked her up, and they proceeded to a family Christmas event. However, as the family left the rehabilitation center, Stephanie found herself in another car accident. A drunk driver crashed into the car her family was in, leaving Stephanie and her dad with injuries, and her mom with more severe damages to her body. Shortly after the accident, Stephanie was also diagnosed with cancer.  

Stephanie miraculously survived two car accidents and her cancer diagnosis. Her resilience during these trying times motivated her to pursue her love of makeup.After practicing and learning as much as she could, with the help of her occupational therapist, Stephanie decided to take a chance and start an Instagram account to show off her makeup skills. Her social media popularity and the help of a friend, Stephanie earned a spot at Beauty Con. Beauty Con is a massive convention for all beauty aficionados to gather and share their love for the beauty industry. It was at Beauty Con that Stephanie met supermodel Tyra Banks. Tyra invited Stephanie to the Tyra Banks beauty convention, where Tyra spoke highly of Stephanie and her beauty skills in front of a large audience. Stephanie disclosed to the audience that she did not share her disability with her social media followers, but instead chose to hide her hand function. Tyra explained to Stephanie that, “her hands would become her brand and to keep pursuing her love of make-up.”

Interviewed by our Founder and President, Alexandra Nicholas, Stephanie explains singlehandedly that disabilities do not have to keep one from following their dreams. Stephanie discusses her “normal” after her recovery; she demonstrates to Alexandra the modifications that help her apply makeup and other beauty products. Stephanie also shares with Alexandra the importance of the strong and supportive familial bond that she has with her parents and her twin sister. Through Stephanie’s optimistic, but realistic viewpoint, she encourages differently abled people to be more accepting of their own difference and live in the moment. Stephanie shares her journey to encourage and reassure others with or without a difference to push through whatever challenges they are facing.

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